Decisions
by Spotty1006
Summary: Tawnypaw's decision to stay with ShadowClan at the end of The Darkest Hour.


**So, people asked me to continue Scars. While Scars seems finished to me (that's why I took off my 'if people like it, I might continue it' thing), there was definitely potential for a sequel. I decided between Tigerstar's death and Tawnypaw's decision to stay with ShadowClan after BloodClan quite easily, honestly. Tigerstar's death? No idea where I'd go there. Tawnypaw's decision? Write about decisions! Pretty clear to me.  
Happy birthday Redstar! This is probably after your birthday you're reading this, but happy birthday all the same!**

* * *

Decisions.

Everyone makes them, every day.

There are two differnet kinds of decisions. There's the clear decisions. Like deciding to eat is clearly a good decision. Destroying the world is clearly a bad decision, because even from the bad guy's perspective, where do you go next? There's really nowhere else you can live, unless you want to destroy yourself in the process. Then go ahead, you have nothing to lose.

Then, there's the more common decisions that you don't know are good or bad until you make a decision and stick with it. What you want to do in life, moving, those are unclear decisions. All you can do is hope for the best.

Life's full of unclear decisions.

* * *

The battle was over.

LionClan had defeated BloodClan.

The threat looming over the forest was over, and Tawnypaw was glad. No one had to look over their shoulder while hunting anymore. And the Clans could go their separate ways in peace.

Tawnypaw had to admit, working with ThunderClan made her feel uneasy. Moons ago she'd lived along side these cats, but they were supposed to be her rivals now. But in the battle with BloodClan, she'd managed to ignore this and work together with ThunderClan apprentices to bring down BloodClan's second-in-command, Bone. The same cats she left moons ago, she still worked well with in the present.

Tawnypaw felt like this fact made her unloyal to her Clan in a strange sense. After all, she wasn't a ThunderClan apprentice anymore. Teaming up with her rivals...did that make her betray ShadowClan?

Tawnypaw tried to shake off the questions in her head. It was over now. Now that the battle was done, she would go back with ShadowClan. She'd become a fierce and loyal ShadowClan warrior, because that was what she was meant to be. She'd fight against ThunderClan when she had to, because she was loyal to her Clan.

When Tawnypaw saw Firestar and Bramblepaw coming her way, her heart sank. She knew exactly what they wanted. She'd have to face the one question she'd been trying to answer and avoid at the same time. She knew the question they would ask and the answer they would hope for, but she knew that they wanted her to be happy with her decision, and that made her feel all the worse.

But she knew now was the time to face the question bravely and choose her destiny.

So she let them come. She let them ask if she wanted to stay in ShadowClan or come back to ThunderClan. And she made herself think hard about her decision, because it was the hardest and most important decision she would have made up to this point in her life.

Where did she belong?

Tawnypaw definitely didn't feel like she belonged in ThunderClan. No cat would trust her because of who her father was, and it would be a hard road to acceptance. Cats had and would openly mock her, compare her to her father, and make her feel miserable. Her family was in ThunderClan, but they were stronger than her. Being accepted would be a hard and long task. Tawnypaw knew if she went back to ThunderClan, she would try her best, but she wasn't sure if she was capable. And now she would be compared and mocked even worse. They'd say that they were right about her, she was just like her father. She'd joined her father in his quest, after all, they'd say. They'd ask her when she was planning on killing Firestar to take over ThunderClan, or of similar plans for power. Tawnypaw wasn't interested in power, but they didn't know that.

Yet Tawnypaw didn't completely belong in ShadowClan, either. True, her father had been leader, but she was a ThunderClan cat by birth. There would always be the smallest bit of suspicion, the smallest bit of worry that she would favor her birth Clan over her chosen Clan. No cat would trust her because of who her mother and brother were, but at least in ShadowClan her father wasn't viewed as a complete traitor. She had no living family in ShadowClan, but they'd want what was best for her, want for her to be happy. Tawnypaw knew she wouldn't truly feel happy in ShadowClan, at least not now, but where would she? And someone was bound to have seen her working with the ThunderClan apprentices. Their suspicions and worries would increase, and they would be keeping a really close eye on her. They'd think she was using their trust to gain control of ShadowClan with ThunderClan's help, or some sort of plot to help ThunderClan take over ShadowClan. It was their nature. Tawnypaw wasn't interested in power, and ThunderClan wasn't interested in total forest domination, but they didn't know that.

Tawnypaw knew she was a Clan cat, though, and would never be happy as a rouge, or a loner, and especially as a kittypet.

She wasn't interested in power or conquest, but the Clans didn't know that.

Then she'd show them.

Tawnypaw knew the place where she would most likely belong. She knew where she wouldn't be viewed as a traitor, and she knew where her happiness most likely lurked. Her decision wasn't obvious, but she had to make a decision and go with it. And she had to decide now. In this decision, Tawnypaw had to trust her head, because once she reasoned with herself, she knew where she belonged.

"I'm sorry," Tawnypaw told Firestar. "But I'm going to stay with ShadowClan. I need to feel like I belong to my Clan."

And Firestar respected her decision and wished her well. Just as Tawnypaw knew he would. He was a wise leader, and he knew what was best.

* * *

**Happy birthday Redstar!  
This one-shot is definitely different than Scars. Where Scars had a lot of interaction between characters during Tawnypaw's time of turmoil, this time Tawnypaw went through it all with only her head, and the only words in the story are spoken by her. By the way, I'm not sure where my copy of The Darkest Hour is, so that's not a quote from the book. I just guessed. The spoken words don't feel complete, though, I'm not happy about that, but what can I do? It's not like the last chapter of The Darkest Hour is sitting on Google.  
Oh, and unless anyone is interested in having this as a trilogy and making the third story, "Faith", take place all the way in Power of Three...or was it Omen of the Stars (?), then I think the one-shot adventure will end here.**


End file.
